Gawaing b(u/a)hay

...Na wari'y iyon at iyon lamang
Ang kaniyang nauunawaan.

Isa ito sa mga linyang pinag-iisipan kong bilugin sa utak ko simula kaninang alas kuwatro ng umaga--galing inuman sa launching ng album ng Cog sa Purple Haze--na hindi ko magawang bitiwan hanggang sa ngayon. Marahil epekto na din ng serbesa na unti-unti na yatang pinapatay ang aking atay at hindi na magawa pang solusyunan ng mga Endoplasmic Reticulum ng hepatic cells ko na alisin ang alkohol sa sistema ko; na kung matagalan ay masisiraan na rin ako ng bait. Pero kung ganito ba naman eh pipiliin kong huwag munang tumigil sa pag-inom. Ibubuno ko ang buong gabing ito para makapagsulat ng kahit isa lang, kahit isa lang.
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May kinakaasaran akong tao ngayon. Naaasar ako sa kaniya dahil nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kaniya. Nakakaasar ako.
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Tambak na ang labahin sa apartment. Nakakatamad maglaba at magpalaba. Sana maimbento na ang RTW na disposable. Magtatapon na naman ako ng mga damit.
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Masayang maghugas ng mga pinagkainan. Ito ang gustung-gusto kong seremonya. Pero kanina, parang gusto kong basagin ang mga ito, hindi sa sahig kundi sa mukha ng isa ko pang kinaiinisang tao.
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Hindi ako marunong magalit. Minsan, nakangiti pa nga ako pag nagagalit ako. Minsan, parang labas sa ilong lang ang mga sinasabi ko. Hindi rin ako marunong magtanim ng galit. Sino ba 'yung nagsabi sa 'kin na masama ang nag-iipon ng negative energy? Kahit poot man ito o pag-ibig, masama pa rin.
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May bagong tula si Yayan. Para sa akin. Naiyak ako.
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Nagwalis ako kanina at nakapulot ako ng limang piso (limang mga piso). Ginanahan tuloy akong magwalis kahit na mukhang payatas ang apartment na tinutuluyan ko. Nagwalis ako sa ilalim ng kama at nakapulot ako ng bente. Sa ilalim ng mesa, dalawang piso. Sa ilalim ng shoe rack, apat na piso. Sa mga hinubad ng shorts, trenta lahat-lahat. Sa kusina, sa ilalim ng mesa, tatlong piso. May pera nga sa basurahan.
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Mahal ko ang atay ko. Beer-free day ngayon.
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Ganito ko naisip kung kakausapin ko ang sarili ko sa salamin. (Ako = A; Salamin = S)
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A: Minsan, tigil naman tayo sa pag-inom. Kahit isang linggo lang.
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S: (Medyo gulat. Tapos tumawa.) Seryoso ka ba?
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A: Oo naman!
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S: Uh, sige na nga, tatlong araw na lang.
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A: Hindi, dalawa.
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S: Ok. Deal! Nga pala, bakit?
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A: Secret.
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S: Labo.
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A: Labo.
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